im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize