her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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