8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know her cup size but not her name....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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