2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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