ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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