You're so nebulous sometimes
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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