I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize