Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize