im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize