I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize