I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What a dumb baby whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
we're so committed to being not committed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize