and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize