This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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