Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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