Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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