So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize