hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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