i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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