Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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