good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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