I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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