He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My balls are so social today.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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