I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize