you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
