I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Shame - the story of my life.
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