hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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