you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
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While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
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She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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