The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize