sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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