you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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