You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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