Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize