can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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