Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize