some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
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I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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