How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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