Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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