I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize