Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
