she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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