I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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