I am puke
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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