I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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