whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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