If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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