Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize