found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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