Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize