I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize