Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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